I Despise Snow
by Green Flame
Summary: This is Bakura's first winter! So what will he think? Hear our favorite tomb robber's rants as he takes this winter head on!
1. What is SNOW?

Yo. GF here. A new story has been made! What happens when you cross a 5000 year old tomb robber with snow for the first time? Your about to find out. ^^;;; This is all in Yami Bakura's point of view, if you can't figure it out. Thanks, and don't forget to review!  
  
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/ Yami! /  
  
Oh great. My worthless hikari is calling to me again. He's always doing that. . . That's the annoying thing about having a hikari, besides the actual thing, is that we share a mind link. When will he realize I just want to be left alone!? Alone to plan the destruction of things. . . Muahahaha! Hm. . . maybe it I ignore him, he'll stop.  
  
/ Yami. . . /  
  
I'm not here you fool! Nope, no ancient spirit here, and certainly not one that would happen to be an ancient tomb robber stuck in a cursed piece of jewelry. Although, considering it's powers, it's not really all that bad a piece of jewelry. . .  
  
/ Yami? Are you here? /  
  
I already told you I am not! Of course, I'm not actually saying any of this. Then he would know that I actually am here, and that would defeat the purpose.  
  
/ . . .Are you alright?! /  
  
Oh great. Now the fool is starting to worry about me, just because I'm not answering. When will he learn to just not stick his nose into other people's business? Well, I guess I'd better do something, before he decides to really be stupid and do something drastic. . . I should have known this plan wouldn't have worked.  
  
I materialized myself outside of the Ring, glaring down at him. "What is it?"  
  
"Oh, there you are. I was watching the news and guess what the whether man said!"  
  
I sighed inwardly. "That's what you bothered me for? To tell me the whether?!"  
  
Ryou looked up at me from his seat on the couch. "I just wanted to tell you. . . Well, it's going to snow!" I could tell he was trying to keep the excitement out of his voice, but it didn't work.  
  
I rolled my eyes. Ryou always got himself worked up over the smallest of things. Like the whether. . . Wait a minute. Snow? "Wait. . . What's. . .snow?" I said cautiously. I hate not knowing things that seemed so obvious to him. That's what happens when you get stuck in a stupid necklace for a couple thousand years, however.  
  
"Um, well, it's like white stuff that falls from the sky." I blinked. Whit stuff from the sky? Yeah right. "Frozen rain." He stuttered around, trying to explain. He finally just pointed at the TV screen, which was still on the whether. "Just see for yourself."  
  
I looked over at the screen, and blinked to see if my eyes were working correctly. It was white stuff falling from the sky! It also showed some of the people walking out on the street in the white stuff that fell thickly from the sky. Hah! The foolish mortals looked so cold and pathetic! "Well then, maybe this snow thing isn't a bad idea after all." After all, it is causing the mortals to suffer.  
  
Ryou nodded his head in an excited way. "It will be the first snow of the season! It's also supposed to be a very big storm, so there'll probably be a lot of it."  
  
This improved my mood even more! Maybe it will cause the baka Pharaoh and his baka friends to suffer as well! And then I can laugh at them all. Hah! I can picture it now.  
  
"We'll have to go outside when it gets here. Then you can really experience it. Snow is fun to play in. Snowballs and snowmen. . . You can even eat it!"  
  
I looked at Ryou like he was crazy. He wants me to go outside in that? But the stupid mortals are supposed to suffer, not me! And what in the world is he talking about? Snow men? That sounded fishy to me. And eating it. . . why would someone do that? But, I suppose, if you are thirsty enough, you can drink rain when it falls, so snow couldn't be that different.  
  
He must have seen the look because he laughed. How dare he laugh at me. "You'll see when it comes. We have to wait until Saturday, though. The storm isn't coming until then."  
  
I thought about it. Snow. Hm. . . I wonder if the Pharaoh knows about this? Hah! I'd like to see the look on his face when he sees this snow. Yes, I want to be there to see that. I want to see him suffer like the other fools because of this snow. This snow will bring only good things! I gave an evil look. Whoops, Ryou must have seen it because he has that look on his face that he gets when he knows I'm about to do something evil. I quickly frowned and glared at him, then disappeared back into the Ring.  
  
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Ok ok, I know what you are going to say (or at least, I think I do.) That was short! But hey, that's ok, because it's called a prologue. Or, at least, I THINK it's called a prologue. If this is what a prologue is. * realizes she hates that word and hates spelling it even worse * But the real fun will begin soon. So, please review and tell me what you think so far. Even a flame. . . if you really want to. * sniffle * I just want to know how it is SO FAR. Thanks! 


	2. The evil white fluffiness of DOOM!

Ah, a Saturday morning. This is one of those days when Ryou has no school, which means my schedule is freer as well. Lately Ryou has been trying to teach me how to work the machines of the modern day world, but it's all really just a big annoyance. As I materialized out of the Ring, I saw I was in the kitchen, and Ryou was using the "stove" to make something to eat.  
  
"Hi Yami."  
  
I grunted. Yes, I can grunt when I want to, it means I am in a bad mood and you shouldn't mess with me. Got that? Good.  
  
Why is it so cold? It's been getting that way lately, and it gets darker out earlier. When I asked Ryou, he went on about the Earth and how it goes around the sun or something. And something about an angle. Or something. I wasn't really listening. I didn't want him to rant on about the planet and such, I just wanted to know why it was so damn cold!  
  
Anyways, back to the present. . . * POP * GAH! What was that?! Oh, just the thing called the "toaster." No, I wasn't afraid. I'm never afraid! I was just. . . startled.  
  
Ryou laughed. Again, how dare he laugh at me. "I taught you about the toaster two weeks ago. You should be used to it by now."  
  
I glared at the toaster, trying at the same time not to let Ryou see my agitation at what he calls a "simple" thing. Is he laughing again? Better not be.  
  
As I walk into the dining room, something out the window catches my eye. WHAT IN THE NAME OF RA HAPPENED?! The ground has been covered with whiteness! And there is more white coming down from the sky. "R-Ryou?"  
  
Ryou comes in carrying two plates of eggs and some toast. "What?"  
  
"The ground and sky. . ." It must be a punishment from the Gods. What did I do? Oh, wait, I defiled and looted and bunch of your temples, stole from a bunch of dead Pharaohs, and tried to steal 7 of the most mystical and powerful items so that I could become ruler of the world. Um. . . OK, but other then that, what did I do?  
  
Ryou laughed again. That's it! I'll teach him not to laugh at me! Later. . . After I figure out what's going on. "You forgot? It's the snow I told you about."  
  
Hold the phone. Er. . . wait, no one has the phone with them. What's the point of that saying then?! ANYWAYS, halt! There. Snow? Ah, yes, snow! That thing that made the mortals look cold and miserable on the box, um, excuse me, TV. The thing that falls from the sky and makes everybody suffer. Muahahah. What a wondrous thing.  
  
"So. . . it's snowing now. . . And this happens every year?" It NEVER snowed in Egypt. I never even heard of it.  
  
"Yup. It snows all winter, which is now until about April."  
  
"How many months away is that?"  
  
"Six, I think." He smiled. Yeah, this kid is too happy all the time. Annoying happiness. *shudders * "And you're going to have to go out in it. It's part of teaching you about the new world."  
  
Wait a minute! Going out in snow would only be an idea of that of a madman! Er, ok, you could kinda consider me as crazy, but I'm not stupid! "Me? Go out in that? You're kidding." He shook his head. "I am not touching that stuff! It's unnatural!"  
  
"It's natural." Hikari looks confused. I'm confused as well, but you don't see me showing it! "I told you, it's just like rain. It is rain, only frozen a bit because the air temperature-"  
  
"NO! I didn't ask WHAT it was, I'm wondering why I must go out in it." Not another rant, please!  
  
"Because if I don't, you'll somehow find a way to get into trouble with it. You always do. I can imagine you out there, trying to banish every single snowflake that falls from the sky to the Shadow Realm."  
  
Damn straight! Well, that would be a little complicated, and take a while, BUT I'LL SEND EVERY LAST FLAKE TO THE REALM OF SHADOWS! MUAHAHA! "Anyways, I'm not going out there. . ."  
  
((2 hours later))  
  
"Damnit." How the heck did Ryou force me to do this? Oh yes, I remember now, he threatened to tell the Pharaoh I was afraid of this "snow." I hate mortals. And I've also decided I hate snow, even though I haven't even been outside yet. No, Ryou says first we have to "prepare" by wearing coats and hats and gloves. Whatever.  
  
Hm, ok now. Walking out the door. . . Ra, it's cold out here! I'll turn into an icicle! Stepping off the porch. . . AH! IT BLINDS MY EYES! THE WHITENESS!!!! It's everywhere you turn! And it's all so gleaming white! Ryou, why the hell are you looking at me like that? I glare- yeah, that's right, you better look away. I love the reaction the pathetic mortals get when I glare.  
  
I'm still half blinded. "Ok, I went out in it, can I go back in now?" Ra, for it to be this cold out can simply NOT be natural.  
  
Ryou frowns. Or at least I think he is, I'm not sure because my eyes hurt too much to really tell. "No, we haven't done anything yet." He says. I groan on the inside; I never let my emotions show outside. What kind of tomb robber do you think I am, one who goes around whining about every little thing? No, I wasn't feared throughout all of Egypt for whining about. . . Whoops, now I'm ranting.  
  
My first step into the snow. AH! IT'S TRYING TO CONSUME ME! IT HAS MY FOOT! BEGONE, EVIL STUFF OF WHITE AND FLUFFYNESS! Well, there goes SOME of it into the Shadow Realm at least. And I have my foot back. And Ryou is staring at me again. Not even my glare is stopping him.  
  
"What? Were you expecting to walk on top of it?" How dare he mock my intelligence! Even if he was right. . . Ryou is sighing in that hopeless way. He seems to do that a lot when trying to teach me. "It's like water, Yami. You can't walk on top of it unless it's packed really tight, which it's not right now."  
  
I continue to show no emotion whatsoever. I am Bakura, the King of Thieves, soon to be the ruler of the world, and I will not give in to anything, not even snow! It's testing my patience, however, and you do not want to do test my patience. As you can ask many of my victims, I have very little of it.  
  
"Since this is the first snow of the season, I was thinking of going down to Yugi's house so we could all hang out together." Hold the. . . Um, I dunno. Halt. Yeah, that works. Anyways, stop right there.  
  
"I am NOT going over to the Pharaoh's house. And you can't make me." Hah! You can't, either!  
  
"I knew you'd say that. But just think about it; you get to see Yami Yugi and his first experience with snow. It could be more. . . interesting then yours has been." Hm. Hikari is right here. If I saw the Pharaoh making a fool out of himself, I'd have a laugh for years.  
  
"Yugi is making him go out in this too?" Hah! I DO get to see the Pharaoh suffer! Of course, to make it satisfying I'll have to act like I don't care that's it's cold enough to make me numb and this accursed snow is now going down my boots, making my feet turn to ice.  
  
Ra, it is unnaturally cold out. Cold. . . cold. . . . cold. I've never felt anything like it before. And I don't like it.  
  
"Yami, it's not even that cold out." What the hell is he saying?! "It's gets a lot colder than this." COLDER?! Ra, that's not possible! "At the worst days, it hits negative 20 degrees." What in the name of. . . all that is right with the world? Is it the apocalypse or something?! THE TEMPERATURES GO TO NEGATIVE?!?!?!  
  
I let out a little breath. HOLY * censored *!!!! I can SEE my breath! It looks like mist or something. Who would've thought? I still hate snow.  
  
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Well, that's chapter 2. ^^;; Still doesn't seem to be going anywhere, but it WILL get better. I'd appreciate reviews, please. Oh, and this is a little OOC, but still. . .  
  
Bakura: Why the heck are you making me look so stupid?  
  
GF: Because I can. And because it's funny.  
  
Ryou: I don't really rant on, do I?  
  
GF: No! Of course not! I'm sorry Ryou, I just had to do that. You don't really rant. At least, I don't think so.  
  
Ryou: It almost seemed you were making fun of me.  
  
GF: NO! NEVER! You're my favorite character! It only seems like I'm picking on you, 'cause like I said, this is OOC. . .  
  
Bakura: You're the worst writer I've ever seen.  
  
GF: *gets mad * THAT'S IT! *starts to chase him with her fire mallet. . . again *  
  
Ryou: *sighs as he watches Bakura and GF fight * He just has to push her buttons. . . Well, I guess I'll say this, review please! 


	3. And so on

Winter. It has. . . snow, cold temperatures, and it makes your breath visible. oO What an odd time of year. Anyways, this is my first winter, and I am NOT finding it at all enjoyable. And I am the King of Thieves, Bakura, the most feared tomb robber in all of Egypt! You do NOT want to get me angry. . .

Heh. Yes, I know, I am scary. Intimidating, and even psychotic. FEAR ME! My patience, which is short to being with, is growing shorter as I trudge through this snow which feels like ice in my boots. Yes, the stuff is falling into my SHOES! Cursed evil snow.

Now, when I say "evil snow," I mean more like the cursed evil white fluffy stuff of DOOM! But by "evil," I don't mean evil like I am. I mean, this is evil to me. Not as something actually evil, like dark and sinister, but evil as in. . . Well, I'm not sure. It's evil. It shouldn't exist. But it seems as if it does just to make me miserable. So that is evil. See? No, now I'm confusing myself. ANYWAYS, I don't like it, and it should be banished to the Shadow Realm. Every. Single. Flake.

Why? Because I'm cold, slightly wet, and I CAN'T SEE WHERE I'M GOING! Everything's too damn bright! Look at it this way. When you spend most of your time inside your soul room, where it's dark, and there is barely any light, just the way you like it, you get used to that. Then all of a sudden you walk out a door and EVERYTHING is white and the sun seems to be coming from EVERYWHERE! It blinds me! It actually hurts my eyes! I can't take- OW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!

I just WALKED INTO SOMETHING. Can't see! Ryou's behind me, laughing. Grr. . .DIDN'T I TELL HIM NOT TO LAUGH! All right, now to see what the hell I ran into. I have to squint. . . Ah, it's a street light. Blasted metal pole sticking up out of the ground with a light on top. OW! Ok, note to self, don't kick metal poles. It hurts. Ryou's laughing more. . . I glare at him, and he shuts up. Moving on.

Oh look, it's the shrimp's house. The place where the Pharaoh lives. Great. Note the sarcasm in that last word. Wait. . . what's that in the front of the house? Eh, it's the Pharaoh's friends. Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Tea. . . So, where's the Pharaoh? Don't tell me I'm being forced outside when he gets to stay inside his soul room. Hm, wait, there's some kind of giant ball next to them too. Or at least, that's what it looks like. . .

Getting closer to their house, I can see it a bit better. Or at least, I'm trying. Wait a minute. . . That giant ball is a person. . . BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! I'm almost on the ground laughing! It's the Pharaoh! HAHAHAHAAA! The Pharaoh! Wearing layers upon layers of coats! He looks like some kind of giant puffball. HAHAHAHAHA! He looks so stupid, like some kind of puffball with star-hair. Hah! Ok, getting myself back under control. . . Now that everyone's staring at me.

"What's the matter Pharaoh, can't take a little cold weather?" I smirk. Yes, I know, I'm not taking it much better, but at least I don't look as ridiculous as he does. Hah, he sends some kind of glare at me, but it's pitiful.

Yugi sighs. "I told you you didn't need that many coats." He whispers, as if I couldn't hear him. "It's cold." The Pharaoh murmurs back. Hah! Pathetic. But he starts to take some of the coats off anyways, and slowly gains a more human looking form. Even his friends are laughing.

Pharaoh looks mad. Well, good. He turns to me. "You don't look as if you're doing any better. You're squinting as if you can't see a thing."

Wha? I'm squinting? Oh, whoops, didn't notice. I try to make my eyes relax but that just lets more light in, so I just growl at him instead. Now he laughs. Baka.

"Ah, don't you just love the first snow of the season?" Joey's an idiot. No, I don't like the first snow of the season. And I don't think the second will be any better, or the third. He sticks his tongue out and catches a fat flake falling from the sky. He ate it? Well that's interesting… I'll have to try that later. Maybe this snow can suffer for what it's done to me if I decide it's tasty.

"Yeah, it almost looks magical." That preppy girl, the one who constantly annoys me with her speeches on friendship and love (how can the Pharaoh stand her!) looks as if she's in another one of her stupid trances. I don't know whether she's serious or not about this snow having power, but I don't really need another reason to hate this stuff.

"Well, let's get going. We have to introduce this all to Yami and Yami Bakura." The Pharaoh's weaker, and shorter, self speaks up. I'd rather he had kept his mouth shut. In fact, most of the time I wish he didn't _have_ a mouth. Hm, if the Pharaoh didn't have a mouth… Ha! That'd be pretty entertaining, actually…

"I know!" Hikari gets excited much too easily. "Let's go to the park first. We can go sledding, since there's enough snow already."

The others are agreeing. Crap. And I STILL can't see. I feel like my eyes must be bleeding. This is going to be a LONG six months…

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GF: Heh, sorry that this chapter was so short. But at least I'm updating again! Yay!

Yami Bakura: Boo.

GF: - - No one asked you.

Ryou: Please review!

GF hands him a cookie.


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